Teaching Kids About God, Authority, and Values
Jim Liebelt

Many parents today want their kids to grow up possessing a vibrant faith in God. They hope that this faith, in turn, will impact their kids’ lives in such a way that they become strongly moral people, embracing values that can carry them through their adult lives. But, this is not an easy goal to achieve. Today’s culture, and in some cases, today’s parenting approaches both conspire to make raising kids to embrace Biblical, healthy morals and values a huge challenge.

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I think the issue of out-of-hand children has become a very pertinent issue not just in our society but even in churches. Why is it that kids nowadays have a greater tendency to go astray? I am baffled too. During my 8 months break post As, I decided to take up an offer and gave a shot at being a tuition teacher which I am still currently doing. My stint there has made me realise that children nowadays have gotten so quick in picking up bad habits and it is really not easy to get them to diverge from such habits. Couple of them being foul language, doing what they want as and when they wish, challenging authority and more. (And yes, I've come to realise how annoying I once have been and sometimes still is as a teenager. So apologies to my parents who have tolerated all my nonsense thus far and I know will continue to do so.)

That aside, why is it that kids nowadays have gotten so out of hand? Liebelt provided an insight as to the root of the problem.

(1) Relativity & amorality. In our society today, there is an ever decreasing emphasis on absolutes - clear 'rights' or 'wrongs'. And I quote:'Many people today have simply abandoned the notion of “moral absolutes,” that there are definite standards of what is right or wrong. This notion has become obsolete in our culture. We live in a postmodern world where truth has become relative.'

Everything we do is justified not by the action in itself but by circumstances or external factors which may have incited us to do so. And because everything is viewed in relative terms, we have been cast in a situation of amorality - that is, a lack of morals, and this behaviour is even embraced by the society (think freedom of life, speech etc.) And with amorality, there is no absolute immoral behaviour; just as how nothing can be said as being illegal in the absence of laws.

And with that emerges a distressing situation Liebelt calls MTD (Moralistic Therapeutic Deism)
"Briefly, here’s what Moralistic Therapeutic Deism (MTD) looks like:
Moralistic refers to the concept that most Americans believe in right and wrong. In MTD, people get to decide for themselves what those things are. For example, a person might believe that there is nothing wrong with telling “white-lies”. So, as long as people live consistently according to their own list of rights and wrongs, they can call themselves moral people.

Therapeutic refers to the fact that most Americans believe that God exists for our happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment. God’s job, according to MTD, is to solve people’s problems and to help them get what they want out of life. God is reduced to the proverbial “genie,” who grants wishes to people.

Deism refers to the idea that most Americans believe in God, but that He cannot really be known. In MTD, God watches people play the game of life and doesn’t get involved much, unless of course, when people need Him to fix a problem or help them get what they want."

As such, the idea of God as supreme lawgiver and judge is questioned and the lack of enforcement of clear 'do's and don'ts' causes children to have little regard for authority. Truths are then seen as oppressive and a impediment against one's rights. (But hey, who are we to talk about rights when God was the one who created us and everything we have, He blessed us with.)

(2) They see, they do. I believe many of us have caught the ad on tv illustrating how a young boy will pick up the habit of smoking when he has parents that do so. Yes, this cannot be more true. Most parents do not provide their children with an environment that is cohesive for spiritual growth. They do not set examples, they think whatever they do is always right and more. So the kid walks away with the notion that since dad and mum do so, I also can and should do so.

And yes, while the church (sunday school etc) try to foster such growth, the children's growth is afterall not their responsibility, but the parents. The bible specifically tells us that parents are not to spare the rod and spoil the child. And if we were to think of it logically, how much time does the child spend in sunday school (2 hours?) versus how much time do they spend at home (minimum their sleeping hours). So which is the more effective channel to instill within them the morals and values so critical to grow spiritually - one in which takes on the ratio of 1 teacher to a class of 10? or that of 2 whole-hearted loving parents to 1 child desperately needing help? I don't think you even have to do the math to figure this sum out.

Here are then practical solutions Liebelt offered to bring up the child in the way he/she should go.:

Teach kids Biblical truths while they are young.
In Deuteronomy 6:4-7 we read, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give to you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you lie down and when you get up.” Further, Proverbs 22:6 tells us to train children in the way they should go, and when they are older, they will not turn from it. Scripture passages such as these provide parents with clear marching orders.
The younger kids are when parents start this process, the better. When begun early in life, kids grow up understanding that learning about God and the Bible are simply part of the family’s home life. Getting started later in a child’s life, can be challenging, but it’s really never too late to start.

Make God’s Word the ultimate authority in the home.
Parents can uphold the authority of the Scriptures for faith and life in their own lives and within their homes. As they consistently demonstrate that the Bible is relevant and trustworthy to provide direction in everyday situations, kids will learn to do likewise.

Demonstrate a healthy respect for authority in general.
Parents should understand the power they have to influence their children’s perception of authority through their role modeling. When parents live with a general disrespect of authority, their kids are likely to follow suit. On the other hand, kids who see their parents living out a healthy sense of authority are more likely to learn to embrace the concept of authority themselves.

Walk the talk.
As kids get older, parents should practice more and preach less. As kids enter into the adolescent years, they listen to parents less but watch them more. In these years, parents begin to trade authority for influence. Parents can strive to live lives of integrity and authenticity. Kids don’t have to see parents as perfect, but as Christ-followers who are authentic and demonstrate a life of faith, even in failure, and in times of crisis.

Introduce kids to older, wiser adults, mentors and role models.
While parents hold the most influence upon their kids’ lives, other adults who interact with kids have influence as well. Parents can seek to foster healthy relationships between their kids and respected adults, who kids can look up to and pattern their lives after.

And, keep in mind the words of the Apostle John, “…the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

Yes, there can be no truer way than to surrender and commit all things to God, through, prayer, and He will help tide you through any challenge, even if it is the one you make out to be the most difficult child .

Labels: authority, children, moral

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
1 Peter 3:3-4

Cleavage aside, what does real sex-appeal look like?
Men are drawn to female modesty despite our culture’s bold declaration to the contrary. Most women can probably think of a time when their own modest behavior elicited a sense of awe from men in our otherwise leering, lewd society.
A.J. Kiesling

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I can't vouch that all guys prefer modesty over skantily-clad. However, modesty is the way to go and if the man can't acccept it that way, then a word of advice: cast him away.

After reading Kiesling's article, I was saddened by an anoynymous comment she mentioned in it saying that it has become really difficult to separate who's christian and who's not. There are only 2 possibilities if we examine it: either that non-christians have stepped up and started living the high way or we, as christians have put aside whatever plans we had to take on the narrow and highroad and chose to live a sub-standard life. It could only be the latter as the world has not become a prettier place.

As for modesty and chastity, here's from the girls' point of view: I think most of us do consciously strive to be modest (unless, I've been living like an alien and differ from mainstream point of view).

1. And the media says, and the people do
The problem kicks in when media coming in advertising billoards, idealistic music video clips or whatever kinds of media majority of us are subject to nowadays comes bombarding us on a daily routine.

I have no choice but to say I completely, truthfully, honestly empathise with every girl on that.

BUT, that is by no means saying I condone it.

Yes, staying in trend and looking good is in no way wrong. However, the bible says that to be obsessive about it is then a no-no. Adding on to the problem is probably that moral standards have dipped so much that what a teenage girl considers average dressing would probably be totally abhorred by relatives just 2 generations above her.

2. But he likes me this way
Being in a relationship, this does not make things any simpler. Somehow, I believe that man has this innate desire to please. The issue then is what or who is the subject of our pleasing. Many times in our relationships, we seek to please the other human party. We want to please them so much, we are able to compromise on certain principles or standards that are oftentimes important to us. And I question then, do I seek to please God as much as, or if not, more, than I seek to please others, especially the people closest to me. And with that, I recall an illustration that BearBear once told me:

Imagine an equilateral triangle (that means all sides of equal lengths and all angles within the triangle are equal/60deg). Bearbear and I will then take each foot of the triangle, while God is placed at the top, at the last corner of the triangle. So imagine, when each of us try to grow closer to God (along the line of the triangle that connects us to God), we become closer to each other in turn (the distance between Bearbear and I becomes shorter).
Alrite, I think it's really difficult to explain this without proper illustration so I give up. (Haha) But what he was trying to tell me was, in essence, that if we first desire and actively seek to please God, our relationships with other people will naturally be kept in place or if not, improve.

3. I think, no wait, wear therefore I am
How much more often have we heard of kids trying to fit in nowadays than before? Truly, I think more of us struggle with issues as such in a world where acceptance is prized. Just think of the increasing popularity of cosmetic surgery. Central to this problem of acceptance is assurance. Find a kid who is struggling with popularity in school and he/she is likely to tell you that he/she struggles with his/her identity. And so I guess people dress, nowadays, trying to mimic a particular groupie they can identify with. Let's have grunge and heavy metal rockstar fans show you with their heavy douses of eye-liner and indigo lip colours.

And so, here it is, why girls dress the way they do. So what's the fix?

Holiness
1 Peter 1:13-16
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

Purity
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Godliness
Titus 2:11-14
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

Assurance
John 1:12
I am God's child. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

Saying no to self and yes to Christ.

Lord, help me to walk the high way and not yield to wordly pleasures. Even right now, teach me how to pray. Be my guide, all the days of my life. Such that Christ be magnified through me.

Labels: chastity, modesty

John Ryle once said, “Men are apt to forget that it does not require great open sins to be sinned in order to ruin a soul forever. They have only to give hearing without believing, listening without repenting, going to church without going to Christ, and by and by they will find themselves in hell.”

Labels: sin

A man stopped at a travel agency and said he wanted to go on a cruise.
"Where to?" he was asked.
"I don't know," was his reply.
So the travel agent suggested that he take a look at a large globe that was in the room. He studied it for some time, then with a look of frustration he exclaimed, "Is this all you have to offer?"

The world in which we live in has many things that appeal to us. Apart from what is sinful, we can and should enjoy its pleasures. A delicious meal graced with the good fellowship of friends warms our hearts. The beauties of nature inspire and fill us with wonder. Good music refreshes our souls. And work itself can be fulfilling.

Even in a sin-cursed world we can find great enjoyment. And yet these pursuits do not bring full and lasting satisfaction.
... ... ...

- Taken from Seeking Life's Purpose, Our Daily Bread.

Caught this short devotional out of one of the discovery series of Our Daily Bread and was surprised at how apt it was in relation to the message today. The verses for reading that accompanied this were Ecclesiastes 3:1-11. But as i read on, I really liked verse 12 & 13:

I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor - it is the gift of God.

Contrary to what the average joe might think of christianity, what with christians being dogmatic/religious/rigid/any other adjectives that might conjure connotations of one being devoid of the ability to have fun, it is actually biblical for believers to live fruitfully and happily. In other words, that includes having fun and enjoying of whatever pleasures God has rightly given to us. I emphasis rightly, and so that discounts certain behavious/habits/actions that some may consider 'pleasures'.

But here is the crux, before God says enjoy, play, have fun, there is the word REJOICE. And what have we learnt about joy so far? Joy is not the equivalent of happiness which kicks in when things are going our way. But rather, joy is the ability to even remain positive despite circumstances that work against us. I believe, rejoice, was mentioned first due to its utmost priority it should take in our lives. And to rejoice, the only way would have to be placing Christ first. (J-Jesus, O-Other, Y-You) And so central to what I have gathered from this reading is that Christ should be the focus of our lives, nothing and no one else. Only when we have managed to re-align our lives' focus and place God first, are we then able to rejoice and live fruitfully as we so deserve. Only when we ask Him for His ways and not ask Him for our ways, are we then able to consider even the worst circumstances as opportunities for greater things.

If only... we would just let go and let God.
As Paul said,
' To live is Christ; and to die is gain.'

Truthfully, no one can ever consider death as gain. That is until we realise and determine that our life's passion can only be Christ and lose sight and focus of all other worldly possessions. Only then, to die is gain because we leave with longing after nothing and looking forward to our rendezvous with our beloved Saviour.

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I haven't been so happy in a long long while. OBS has certainly made me reconsider certain things in a different light. Well, maybe not reconsider since I have always leaned towards such an inclination with regards to what I want to do with respect to my career. I guess it's more of entrenching me deeper into what I want to do. Of course, it wasn't just OBS. Tsunami has been a great great blessing and encouragement also. (although samantha has left for Xteam and I'll miss her alot) The last outing to ccab was such an encouragement when we had 20 odd noisy people playing capt ball, frisbee and running a relay. PRAISE THE LORD! ~~ Then i know of people who have been praying for me too - whoever you are, thank God for you all. I know I have seemed gloomy, moody, whatever you wanna use to describe, but just fyi, it was probably just post-OBS. (imagine having to trudge through knee-level mud pulling kayaks and then having to withstand lightning storm and wind and sun and more...) Mr bear has also been quite supportive what with the cheeky antics and magic tricks.

p.s. eleanor is really happy after having explored etude at PS and claiming ownership of 2 new nailpolishes and cute shimmery blushes. i even got a free manicure set. say yay! but she's even more excited to start HIGHQUEST!!! :D

Labels: rejoice, tsunami

WELCOME TO A BRAND NEW BEGINNING.

hugs and kisses.